Im back with 2 under the age of 2!

I have been a virtual hermit for almost 5 months now after the birth of my second child.

Thankfully, Im just about starting to feel like myself again.

Nights are getting longer and things are getting a little bit easier.

Reading my previous posts, I realize a lot of them were less about poo and more about my tot which was my one and only at the time.

I promise to revert back to poo after this post but I just HAVE to share the following:

I love my son. (5 months)

I love my daughter. (22 months)

Being a mom is the most incredibly hard, yet the most rewarding job I have ever had and I promise to try everyday to be the best that I can be.

Now back to poo….

NO I DO NOT WANT TO DONATE BLOOD!

The thought of a needle in my vein kills me inside a thousand times.

I know I should help out where I can but please HELP ME get over needles.

I don’t like it…I don’t!

WHY can’t they put you under general anesthetic when drawing blood.

I mean really now.

The first time I took serious blood tests, I started crying in a melodramatic way.

The nurse looked at me with the most disinterested and annoyed face in the world and said “seriously lady, kids under the age of 9 handle this better than you!”

Nurse….why don’t you stop judging me and pass me a lollipop….PLEASE!

That is all!

Innovation of the kitchen appliance disciplinarian!

When you are 39 weeks pregnant and you don't have the energy to speak sternly to your developing toddler without losing your breath after a few seconds, you have to innovate. My 16 month old, miss independence, has become rather challenging at times to control and after loads of reading, asking, talking and pondering on discipline I have finally resorted to a kitchen appliance who has done the trick.

Thank you Russell Hobbs stick blender for keeping my daughters fingers out of plug points, away from windows she could potentially fall out, out of the oven and stove no zone area and  most importantly away from glass objects that could potentially cut her. At first she was terrified in a way that made me feel cruel and harsh, now all I have to do is make the "ZZZzzzzz" sound and she happily obeys, redirects her attention and plays along happily. She now brushes her teeth with no fuss, allows me to dress her with no fuss, hell at this rate I'm thinking of even putting in some new earrings while she is awake (she's pulled all kinds out as her pincer skills are quite advanced for her age)

My mother used a wooden spoon, her mother used a pin, my little one will probably end up using some techno advanced appliance with her kids, it works!

My husband thinks I'm cruel, I'd much rather describe myself as a successful disciplinarian.

 
Onto the next one (sigh happily)

Cheeses Christ, stop complaining and keep on keeping on!

Today  is the 7^th June and it’s raining horses and tigers in Cape Town.

So beautiful!!!!!!!!

The only thing that could spoil this day for me is the “woe is me” mentality of some people.

Arrrgghhh, oh no I am travelling via public transport in the rain, oh shame this and oh shame that.

You know what, if you are ill or physically challenged then I sympathize with you but if you are perfectly healthy and have no excuse whatsoever then I have a few words for you.

Get over it and get on with it.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I understand the morale of people has decreased over the past few years since the economic recession hit and the “woe is me” attitude became incredibly common in SOME communities.

I am ONLY targeting those people who have a lot to be thankful for but walk around feeling sorry for themselves because they don’t have the comfort they would like to have in this weather.

There are less fortunate people who wake up every day and try and make a way.

You know what; an attitude change is in order.

We all have our stuff but we carry on every day and try harder.

Let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time, there was a pregnant fairy who took a duvet day from work as her body was feeling a bit run down at 8 months.

After 3 hours of morning rest, she got up to enjoy breakfast, listening to the sound of silence.

The guilt of sending her toddler to her granny and sending her husband off with no lunch quickly subsided as her body slowly entered relaxed mode.

It had been far too long since she’d spent alone time with herself.

Her eyes wondered across the lounge and over to the toys that lay scattered on the ground, she checked the time on the microwave … 11H45.

She smiled pensively to herself ready to just get lost in thought.

Blocking out the OCD voice that was telling her to take advantage of this time to do a deep home cleanse.

Read, maybe I shall read…she thought.

The title of a book called “who moved my cheese?” lay on the kitchen counter and immediately caught her attention.

This is a book that was recommended to her husband by a friend of his.

He finished this book in a half an hour as it was a quick easy read, printed in font 18.

“Who moved my cheese?” by Spencer Johnson is an amazingly simple life lesson told through an easy to read story about how to deal with change in your work and in your life.

READ IT and change your attitude, then change your life J

The end!!!!!!!!!!

THE LADY IS A CHAMP

I love my little girl so much and I am so fearful and anxious of the next few months because I have no idea of how its going to impact her.

I am due with a second one in July and the gap between the two is very small. I have been very aware of not neglecting her throughout this pregnancy because of the gap. (Talk to the Hand - Don't judge me)

The past 2 weeks has been very hectic on my back. Immense lower back pain to the point where I struggle to stand up straight. I have started an affair with a warm water bottle at work. To top things off the lift has been out of order for almost 3 weeks now.

 

The building only has 2 floors but its still hard when u feel like you are climbing a mountain carrying 2 pockets of potatoes. Especially when greeted with sympathetic eyes from woman who have been pregnant. Comments from women who have never been pregnant, as well as men who have no clue like 'its good exercise' makes you want to burst into tears for various reasons. Then to top it off my little lamb has been restless for 3 nights, crying out for 'mommy' in her sleep and I don't even have the strength to get up and fetch her. My husband will pick her up and place her behind my fat back while she spoons me. Imagine spooning with a smallie where she is the big spoon. You kind of sleep anxiously, fearful that you might squash a little person to a pulp. So yes, I am tired, worn out, heavy and just plain old uncomfortable but I will carry on.
The purpose of this post is to say to all woman trying their best everyday to figure things out...

"You is kind, you is smart, you is intelligent" (quoted from a book & movie called 'The Help')

Another thing is:

"We were made special with shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,yet gentle enough to give comfort.

With inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from children.

Hardness allowing us to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of our family through sickness and fatigue without complaining, (ok maybe a little complaining).

Sensitivity to love our children under any and all circumstances, even when they hurt us very badly.

Strength to carry our husbands through their faults, we were fashioned from his rib to protect his heart.

We were made with wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him.

Finally, we were given tears to use exclusively whenever it is needed.

  

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair, but must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

I took a duvet day to recooperate and waking up to the above message confirmed that I am blessed to be a woman!

What defines you!

What defines you?

Im interested to know.

Do most people spend their time contemplating this?

Do they go through phases trying to figure it out OR do some find comfort in a rigid zone and stay there their whole lives with no desire to leave it.

Some say:

“Your background and environment in the early years are the beginnings of what will finally define you .

This nurturing and exposure combined with your genetic makeup inherited over thousands of years is what builds your character, develops your integrity and gives you that aura and personality..
Character, integrity and aura and personality are all the things that define a person.”….Unknown

Others say:

“The mind”

"My job"

“Where I am at that particular point in my life”

I agree with most of these opinions yet I also say the following:

The people in my life define me.

In a world where you can be anything... be yourself.

Do you know that song?

Today is NOT the day for me!

Today I want to slap the colleague who feels the need to call me and update me on their overflowing workload.

Im thinking “You are stressing about the ever so much to do and so little time, when actually that was 15 minutes of unconstructive time WASTED on a bitch and a moan”

Today I want to knock the pedestrian J-walking at the pace of a snail when I am late for walk.

Today I want to bomb the cashier at the store asking if my bulging bump is as a result of pregnancy…either that or I have a oversized hernia you moron!

Needless to say yet of paramount importance to mention, the catalyst to the start of my crap day would have to be blamed on the man.

The man who can very well take your sweet warm comforting sunshine and turn it into a dark, cold, gloomy day filled with HARD drops of rain.

Men are strong, men are leaders but men are also DUMB and ANNOYING.

They DO NOT have our patience, they most certainly DO NOT possess our endurance NOR our perseverance!

For example : Have you ever heard of a man cold?

On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is least unlikely to die and 10 is most definitely likely to be shaking hands with death, men find it necessary to rate themselves a 9 when experiencing a runny nose and a sore throat.

It’s called a man cold!

Now sing to the tune of “Tragedy”

Man Cold…. When you lose control and act like an A-hole

Man Cold…  When you cough you cry, you can walk but you lie

It’s hard to bear, repelling your wife with your cries of despair (Music)

Man Cold…. When try so hard to act like a retard

Man Cold…  When you seek her time but she thinks you’re slime…

Get a life, before you end up all alone with no wife!

Enough said!

Some heart for the day!

We were talking about the partners our kids would choose when they grow up.

We were advising each other on being open and prepared for their choices,  trying to envision the advice we would give them one day when asked about choosing a spouse.

He then mentioned that one day he would tell them the greatest love story in his mind.

Right there and then, my love for him grew exponentially.

Falling in love with him was one of theeeee best and most fun JJJ experiences of my life J

This is for you, I want you to know how much I appreciate you.

I want you to know how you are the other half of me and without you I would be incomplete.

Cheesy words but there are no others fitting to describe it.

You get me even when you don’t.

Every day we change and yet we still fit together perfectly.

We’ve witnessed a lot of “gone too soon’s” recently and just thinking about those partners left behind makes me wanna say…

Treasure your partner, companion, friend, lover, spouse.

Don’t take them for granted especially if you feel they are your match.

There are many cases where people move on, and it’s understandable and realistic.

To my special one…

Anyone else would just be second best.

Quotes by Lady Poo...

When in doubt, eat some chocolate.

If there are problems in your marriage….he's a douche bag!

Should someone irritate you, fart in their face.

If your wife is being extraordinarily kind, buy Imodium because inevitably you WILL poop in your pants.

When your toddler throws a tantrum, mirror their actions, they will be shocked!

When someone trips and falls flat on their face or even walks into a glass door with a thump, PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH THERE AND THEN.

Digression from quotes:

Im actually being serious, I have a friend who will probably break out in hysterics just by reading the above sentence.

She justifies this with the following: the person who has been wronged by the forces of nature shouldn’t be so upset when it happens to them, they should giggle in embarrassment, rather than curse the laws of gravity in anger.

Thinking about her justification makes me giggle to myself but AGAIN as referred to above, DO NOT LAUGH THERE AND THEN.

Continuation of quotes:

In the event of your computer freezing, HIT IT! (It will make you feel better)

In conclusion, my MOST insightful quote would have to be....

NEVER EVER give up…..on finding the perfect shoe J

Recipe Surprise!

So we've just moved into a new place and unpacked boxes of stuff that has been in storage for almost 2 years. When your fancy long stemmed glasses look like frosted glass once unpacked, you know it’s been a while? It took me about 2 days to scan through everything and unpack. It’s amazing how much I've changed just by looking at my things from then to now.

One thing though that has always been a consistent trait of mine is that I DO love to cook. I found this awesome notebook where I started compiling and collecting cool recipes. I called it Lady Poo's culinary book of smells I mean spells (Sounds dodgy). I had to share a finger snack which I think is awesome for a relaxing evening with friends.

It’s called ... 'Popeye's surprise'...tadaa (music sound)

Ingredients:

1.    1 onion (chopped fine)

2.    2 cloves of garlic (grated)

3.    1 piece of ginger (grated)

4.    Bunch of coriander (chopped fine)

5.    Spinach leaves

6.    Crayfish or crab tails diced and sautéed in butter, garlic and bbq spice Pawpaw, mango, cashews (chopped fine) Chillie (chopped fine)

Method:

1.    Take one spinach leaf and spread out on cutting board.

2.    Fill leaf with crab or crayfish (1 table spoon in middle).

3.    Literally add onion, garlic, ginger, pawpaw, mango, cashews, chillie.

4.    Sprinkle coriander on top.

5.    Roll into a pocket and pin closed with a toothpick

Voila

Serve on a platter with some Tzaziki dip YUMYUM!

P.S

I'm really thin by the way, with a bit of a bum...like a size 30, did I say 30?

I meant 34, this damn keyboard!

Yes and I'm more of a medium large kind of woman, tight clothes are uncomfortable (whistle and look up at the ceiling)

How is it?

Fuzzy this one is for you.

I am a Capetonian, I haven’t travelled much, but what I do know is that Cape Town is well loved by most.

People who understand true Capetonian culture, appreciate it.

I am also a very literal person, and I must admit Im not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Being a true Capetonian at heart, one would expect me to be familiar with some of the most universally understood terms that come with it, such as “Howzit”

We are all familiar with the term used by Matt Damon in “Invictus” and Leonardo Di Caprio in “Blood Diamond.”

For some reason I only just got it just recently. (shrug)

For example, when a colleague greets me in the corridors with a “Howzit” , Im still answering “Fine thanks and you?”

The person is actually walking away already while I stand there like a puppy with no direction.

I quickly dust off all traces of mortification and scuffle on back to my desk.

Sod’s law will however inevitably mess with my head shortly after an incident like this.

Strike 2, walking to the deli during lunch, I see an old high school peer and am enthusiastically greeted with a “Howzit” to which I answer “Hello”...waiting to be intentionally asked how I am so I can then reply.

The confusion on the persons face is enough to make you want to get knock over by a car when you realize your screw up in that 2 minutes of uncomfortable silence .

Desperately and unsuccessfully trying to recover from embarrassment, the devil stands there breaking out in hysterics.

Say it with me AWWWWWKWAARRRRDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!

Note to self, “Howzit” doesn’t actually mean “How is it?”

Moral of the story, it’s all relative.

On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is mildly random and 10 is completely and utterly random, I would say this post is a 8.

Thoughts?

Give thanks :)

The only way to be happy in life is to be grateful….

I will continue with a cheesy poem that goes something like this…

Thank you for my health

Thank you for my life

Thank you for giving my husband such a fabulous wife

Thank you for my mom, dad, sis and bro

Thank you for the bubbles which every now & again, I can happily blow.

Grateful for my partner

Grateful for my child

Grateful for Nandos sauce, garlic, peri-peri, mild.

Happy to be working, happy to be earning

Happy to be singing, talking, walking, reading, learning.

Thankful that Im safe , secure and stable

Thankful that I deal with issues and don’t sweep it under the table

(yes I know the saying is “sweep things under the carpet” but I couldn’t find anything that rhymes with carpet, OK?) (TALK TO THE HAND)

Im thankful, grateful and happy today

Hope this spell "thanks" my stress away…HOORAY!!!!!!

Have a fabulous day folks!

Live to read and read to live!

Live to read and read to live!

Last blog, 10 days ago.

Why? Blockage

What’s the reason? Im stressing about finding a new place to rent before the end of the month.

Because? Myself and my husband are expecting another baby and decided to terminate our lease on our old apartment earlier than agreed.

How come? We need a bigger space for our toddler and new born baby and would like to be settled before he arrives.

Were we quite chuffed with ourselves for finding a tenant for our old flat? Yes we were.

Are we internally worried that we won’t find a place in time? Im expressing it, his suppressing it.

Are we both trying to be positive to avoid the other one from stressing? We want a tension free home J

Are we morons? Yes we are!

Am I a dramatic, fuss and worry pot of note?

ALL TOGETHER NOW: You are the mascot!

Now that I got that off my chest, I would like to continue by saying….

You know that point in your life where you are doing a lot of things but you are not achieving anything.

Im there right now.

People often tell you “baby steps.”

Well how about baby steps in 3 different directions….googoo gaga!

For example, Im reading 3 books at the moment.

I know its slightly different when it comes to books as they are always beneficial, no matter how you finish them, but often I feel like I am not achieving as much as I would like to.

According to me the books you are currently reading are often an indication of where you are at in your life.

At the moment my BAM (book aura medium…yes I made that up) tells that I am a woman in her late 20’s, stressed about a place to live, aware of her weight, learning about her toddler and yearning for more spiritual knowledge.

Books on my bedside goes something like this:

1.    French women don’t get fat by Mireille Guiliano

2.    Toddler taming by Dr Christopher Green

3.    The prophet Musa by Harun Yahya

When im not procrastinating my reading at home, I am using my free time to look for property rentals, sales, ALWAYS worrying about a place to live.

I know this is not exactly classified under reading but I am literally reading specifications for property, that’s what I mean J

I often think about the first book I ever read when reaching a cul-de-sac.

Longing to just see socks run and gaze the attention shortage away, I associate Cathy and Mark with a childlike stress free zone.

For about the next 5 minutes from that point onwards I see myself running across a sunny open field without a care in the world, laughing amorously.

If I look at my own little tot, at 10 months, she started reading the standard books, shapes, numbers, etc.

I wonder what I was reading at her age, the point is I don’t remember, will she?

I need to ask my mum.

In conclusion , I am stressed, therefore reading is stressful and all I long for is that happy place with colourful pics and stress free zone.

This will inevitably come once we sort out housing occupation.

To those of you who finds this post TOTALLY nonsensical …. STOP READING MY BLOG!

To those of you who are beginning to understand my chronicles of random poo….Keep on reading J

Mind over matter or slime over batter?

I just got back from a 2 day stay in Franschoek.
We stayed in a contemporary little cottage near a stream on a wine farm called “La Chataigne” surrounded by majestic mountains and luscious vineyards.
It was a first for us!
Quite chuffed at my choice, there I was unpacking while my husband and daughter explored.
The sweet and harmonious melody that was playing in my mind came to a brutal end when I spotted …1,2, skip a few 99, 100 …. black crunchy worms EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok it wasn’t everywhere, im being dramatic, they were chilling on the door frames outside on the porch and there were a few on the inside walls.
Now as much as I would love to be all “nature girl” and stuff, I must admit that pests and slimy organisms, freaks me out!!!!!!
So while my very relaxed “Aaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” quickly turned to “Ewe!!!!!!!!!!!!”, I made the decision to get over it and get on with it.
This was NOT going to spoil it, immediately I applied the positive reinforcements and decided that this was going to be an adventure between mind and matter.

Our mornings included ex-worminating the area first before enjoying a lovely breakfast on the patio…(say in posh English accent)…while our evenings were spent in front of the fire, playing  “spot the worm but pretend it isn’t bothering you”
So in retrospect I find myself in a giggling fit just thinking about it. (Sigh)

Please don’t get me wrong, it was an amazing few days. We went into town, over indulged at the chocolatiers, visited a garden memorial, braaied and just enjoyed the surroundings for the most part but learnt a very profound lesson….

ALWAYS EVALUATE ACCOMMODATION  CAREFULLY AND INQUIRE ABOUT PESTS before planning next getaway!

The end!

Something yummy for your tummy

I love food. I love to cook food. I love the smell of special ingredients combined into a dish.

I FOOD am FOOD not FOOD obsessive FOOD compulsive FOOD about FOOD food FOOD, I FOOD just FOOD love FOOD to FOOD eat.

All types of food, Italian, Mexican, Thai but as a true Cape Malay, my heart will always belong to roti and curry.

That doesn’t mean Im not open to trying new food, I am particularly a lover of fresh food, the fresher the better and Im also not to finicky about what im eating.

For me eating an apple is just as good as eating a lovely firm cold tomato.     

So coming from a family where pots of food was easier to cook as opposed to dinner for 2, I quite enjoyed cooking for my new husband shortly after getting married.

It was LOVE in the kitchen, therapeutic and fun, it’s all about the prep time you have that determines the dish in my opinion. The more time I have, the more in control I feel to put that extra bit of love and care into the dish. So the reason for this post is to share one of my favourite recipe’s. Since having a baby and working full time, you don’t always have time to prepare dinner and add that that extra bit. You especially DON’T have the time to sit and enjoy the array of flavours of your dish.

Hopefully you will have the liberty of time to prepare and time to indulge.

Now…I totally understand if you have reservations as I wouldn’t personally jump at the opportunity of taking a recipe from someone called Lady Poo either but trust me you won’t be sorry.

Inspired by the lovely Easter weather approaching, something creamy to enjoy in front of the fire place…

Chicken and Corn soup (serves 4)

1 packet chicken fillets (cut into small cubes)

2 medium sized onions (finely chopped)

1 tin of sweet corn

4 cubes of chicken stock

1 bunch of coriander (chopped)

1 arm of ginger (grated)

2 segments of a clove of garlic (grated)

1 green pepper (finely chopped)

2 chillies (If you’re not using a chillie then you are a silly billy)

1 table spoon of olive oil

250ml of cream

Salt, pepper and chilli powder.

Method

Warm pot

Add oil

Add onions (braise)

Add green pepper

Add chopped up chillies

Add chicken

Add 1tsp of chilli powder

Braise and be happy

Add Sweet corn

Add ginger

Add stock to a 250ml of water and add to pot

Stir

Add garlic

Stir and cook for 15 minutes

Add salt and pepper to taste

Lastly just before serving, add cream, stir and finally add chopped up coriander.

Enjoy and serve with lovely bread…

Mmmm yummy!

Now eat!

Do you suffer from Post Sentence Giggle?

You know those people who giggle after they say something?

“Hello..heheheh….how are you…heheheh….its Mark speaking…heheheh…I was just wondering if you could help me with something…heheheh.”

I must admit I'm also guilty of it sometimes but it’s the funniest thing to me.

It REALLY is!

I am not laughing at people who are awkward or who have complexes, OK maybe it seems like I am, but I am more laughing at the possibility of what’s potting in the minds of the people around them.

If I can use this platform to explain myself then I would like to say that I do it because of the following reasons:

1.    I feel awkward

2.    The person or people I'm speaking to are staring and smiling at me like they want me to get done.

3.    I don’t feel confident so I'm overly conscious about myself at the time.

However the “post sentence giggle” if we can give it a name personally becomes annoying to me when someone is actually telling you off in a nice way and they are trying to be assertive.

Like “I’ve been waiting for you to deliver my package since Tuesday already…heheheheh” This is unacceptable….heheheheh.”

I work with a few people like that and as a result, queries and meetings are weird! (Boing!!!)

In conclusion to this short post, I find peculiarities of people’s personalities interesting…..and er….mega random sometimes….heheheheh!