When in doubt, eat some chocolate.
If there are problems in your marriage….he's a douche bag!
Should someone irritate you, fart in their face.
If your wife is being extraordinarily kind, buy Imodium because inevitably you WILL poop in your pants.
When your toddler throws a tantrum, mirror their actions, they will be shocked!
When someone trips and falls flat on their face or even walks into a glass door with a thump, PLEASE DO NOT LAUGH THERE AND THEN.
Digression from quotes:
Im actually being serious, I have a friend who will probably break out in hysterics just by reading the above sentence.
She justifies this with the following: the person who has been wronged by the forces of nature shouldn’t be so upset when it happens to them, they should giggle in embarrassment, rather than curse the laws of gravity in anger.
Thinking about her justification makes me giggle to myself but AGAIN as referred to above, DO NOT LAUGH THERE AND THEN.
Continuation of quotes:
In the event of your computer freezing, HIT IT! (It will make you feel better)
In conclusion, my MOST insightful quote would have to be....
NEVER EVER give up…..on finding the perfect shoe J
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