A philosophical piece of poo!

It’s a lovely day in Cape Town and I’ve just been to the mall during my lunch hour to catch up on some shopping.

 

I decided to buy some lunch and while I was sitting by myself enjoying my mcDo...er....veggie salad, I looked around and what did I see?

Half the people having lunch enjoying, laughing, chatting and giggling bashfully with their MOBILE PHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....and I was one of them (ashamed)

We are definitely living in a world where we interact less with people face to face and more frequently on our phones.

While it sharpens  communication skills, at the same time we tend to miss out on interpreting all those non verbal cues which help us understand language and conversation.

 

Needless to say, it totally eliminates that AWWWKKKWWAAARRRRDDDDD silence you experience every now and again while spending time with people.

I know, that was deep right?

 

The other point I would like to make is the fact that Maslow was indeed a smart guy.

I would however like to tell Maslow he didn’t think it through thoroughly, you see in order to achieve the social stage and even stages following the third, he forgot to stress the critical importance of having fingers!!!!

How smart are you now Massie, huh?

 

Thank you and you’re welcome.

 

Please note: I am not discriminating against anyone without any fingers, this post is not for sensitive viewers and is meant to be a proverbial bunch of poop.

Edited : 15 May 2013....
After reading my post, someone sent me this interesting link which i would like to share with you...

http://fstoppers.com/tao-lins-facedown-generation-of-taipei

Pet peeves and pets!

I haven’t blogged in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time so :

 

CAUTION: this is going to be MEGA random and most incoherent.

 

You know those people that feel the need to place their hands on you while saying something?

Like they will call you and then touch you on your shoulder or something and be like ‘Em, what I wanted to say was....’

And you’d be like : what I wanted to say was....Why are you touching me?

HATE IT!

 

That goes hand in hand with the ‘high five gesture’

You know that awkward moment when you say something that causes the other person to react with a high five gesture and you just stand there straight faced?

 

While your being all --->

 

I’m thinking ---->

 

 

HATE THAT TOO, DONT DO IT!

 

Lastly we have a little fish tank with 2 small goldfish in it.

The tank got dirty, well at least that’s what we thought.

So it needed to be cleaned which meant we needed to remove the filter and give the glass a wipe.

According to ‘fish tank specialists’ o.k. my neighbour, who set up the tank for us.

(Background music), Once upon a time...we got 2 goldfish in a party pack to join our family.

We were unprepared and broke at the time.

Left them in a bowl for days, until we got a small fish tank.

My daughter wants to feed them every day, which is potentially why the tank needed to be cleaned because it seems we were over feeding them causing extra bits of food to float around in the tank.
Anyway I didn’t want this to be a novel but the point of this story is....

 

While cleaning the filter, my idiotic husband says to me the other night, do you think the goldfish know that we’re cleaning the filter?

My response : Of course you fool, in ‘Finding Nemo’ they were well aware of how a filter works.

Pssshhhhh!

In conclusion ---->

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calling all realists and non romantics :)

I’ve been struggling to write this post simply because it’s such a broad topic and I don’t want to come across as one sided.

I’m not speaking on behalf of every woman, I’m just stating an idea of the general consensus from the close group of women in my circle regarding love.

A friend of mine has been in a relationship with someone for 10 years and isn’t the least bit interested in getting married.

She is a strong woman, in her religion, work, socially and has her feet placed firmly on the ground.

Loves her boyfriend but their values, religious beliefs, family culture and ambition are worlds apart.

Their love is unique and special to her and has carried them through a lot but is always a question of whether it’s enough.

So an arrogant, pompous troll (for lack of a better description) comes along, a complete stencil of a good investment promising optimal returns BUT…no love, no attraction, rather annoying mostly but she just can’t seem to get him out of her head. (Sing like Kylie Minogue) They share the same beliefs, and come from similar backgrounds.

All of a sudden she is thinking ahead… can she deal with all the issues in her current relationship, is she strong enough for the challenge IF she decides to marry her boyfriend?

Before anyone thinks this is about love and the vegetarian vampire that sparkles in the sun, please hold your horses.

Typically the opposite of what you’ll find in a romantic story outline….2 birds from 2 different nests, she is a humming bird and he is just a pigeon sitting on telephone cable singing on the wings of love….

Together flying high-eye….NO…the South Easter will be coming and you better be of 747 caliber if you want to survive it!

 

I would just like to say….

 

You STILL have a choice in finding someone who is going to  check majority, if not all, of the tick boxes on the list you want.

You want a man who is career driven, so he can take care of you…..even though you are independent, empowered, professional and strong and VERY capable of taking care of yourself.

You want someone who shares similar religious or cultural values….it might not matter now, but it will very well make things a hell of a lot easier if you plan on having kids.

You want someone who will respect your family and someone who is constantly open to changing and improving.

You want a partner who will support you and who will take a superior role in your times of need.

It’s not about falling deeply in love and expecting that to carry you through until the end of time.

I’m sorry, any experienced woman in a successful marriage will tell you….Love grows and is a mere component of a good partnership.

 

There is nothing wrong in looking for someone who is able to sustain you,  even though you can very well take care of yourself.

Someone who can lead, even though most of his decisions will be driven and managed by you from behind the scenes.

You see what I’m saying here people….

Behind every successful man is a great woman.

Men were created to hunt, they love taking care of women, they pride themselves on providing for their families.

 

 

Women are pushing boundaries, fighting strongly and fiercely against the proverbial traditional mould…which may differ but is essentially similar.

Caregiver, nurturer, supporter, helper, stop whatever you’re doing and attend to me-er.””

We can be career woman, mothers, wives and friends.

All I’m saying is you can have the best of both worlds without turning into an alpha female, which doesn’t even sound right.

Before I upset anyone, I’m not saying it doesn’t work but what I’m saying is I don’t think any young lady dreams of one day finding a man and providing fully for him while he happily loves her with no desire to become a hunter!

It’s just not how we’re wired.

 

I think the point I’m trying to make is this…

 

LOVE will not and simply cannot, conquer all.

Most things….but not all folks…not all!!!!!!!!!

Out with the old and in with the poo!

Let’s start!!!!

So I know someone, I will not mention who (his name is Nathan Herman and he is obsessed with Anime and is an aspiring illustrator/ artist) who gets bored while eating.

I mean have you ever!!!!!!!!!!

It was an immediate need for me to blog about this now that I have fallen into the stereotypical middle aged mommy of 2 who is obsessed with my ever expanding weight.

Please bear in my mind, I have good genes, my parents and their siblings have aged quite well. All of them looking years younger than what they really are.

So for me my new weight has been a HUGE adjustment, a rather LARGE pill to swallow, a PLUS SIZE outlook on life. Excuse the pun! NO DO NOT excuse the pun, the pun is actually how I see myself in the mirror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I have been pregnant for 2 years and 2 C-sections later I STILL seem to look like im in my second trimester.

My mouth simply cannot stop moving from the consumption of food, any food, fried food, healthy food, fresh food!

Dear Lord, please grant me the ability to get bored from eating. Amen.

Why couldn’t I be the person who doesn’t like eating because I would rather be doing other stuff.

WHY must I always be the one to ask the person whose travelled to another country, “…and how is the food there?”

I know this is a phase and it takes hard work and determination , eating properly and exercising but this is my space to just vent to the point where my jean button pops.

And my problem isn’t eating properly, its EATING in general.

Normal party itinerary: meet and greet

Lady Poo’s party itinerary: eat and greet.

So when someone tells me “I don’t really have to eat, Its boring , I would rather be doing other stuff,” I have an intense need to go to the root of the issue, dissect it, marinate it in olive oil and fry it on a hot pan, 30 seconds a side for 2 minutes until medium rare….OH NO SORRY, I digress.

Let’s just say I want to understand it.

Coming back to Nathan.

Nathan is a skinny 24 year old, witty nerd , focused on the stepping stone of his desk job in order to reach his goal of becoming Japanese.

I picture his mom asking him, my boy, what would you like to be when you grow up? Mommy I want to be Japanese.

It seems his appetite for life is far greater than his appetite for food right now, which is fantastic.

We went to get lunch which I gobbled up in 3 minutes and 2 hours later he is still nibbling on his meal, simply because it’s boring to eat.

This might be the most random post ever but I just needed to express my learning’s, which is the following:

ALL WOMAN GET FAT!

Nathan is a man!

Happy 2013!

Im back with 2 under the age of 2!

I have been a virtual hermit for almost 5 months now after the birth of my second child.

Thankfully, Im just about starting to feel like myself again.

Nights are getting longer and things are getting a little bit easier.

Reading my previous posts, I realize a lot of them were less about poo and more about my tot which was my one and only at the time.

I promise to revert back to poo after this post but I just HAVE to share the following:

I love my son. (5 months)

I love my daughter. (22 months)

Being a mom is the most incredibly hard, yet the most rewarding job I have ever had and I promise to try everyday to be the best that I can be.

Now back to poo….

NO I DO NOT WANT TO DONATE BLOOD!

The thought of a needle in my vein kills me inside a thousand times.

I know I should help out where I can but please HELP ME get over needles.

I don’t like it…I don’t!

WHY can’t they put you under general anesthetic when drawing blood.

I mean really now.

The first time I took serious blood tests, I started crying in a melodramatic way.

The nurse looked at me with the most disinterested and annoyed face in the world and said “seriously lady, kids under the age of 9 handle this better than you!”

Nurse….why don’t you stop judging me and pass me a lollipop….PLEASE!

That is all!

Innovation of the kitchen appliance disciplinarian!

When you are 39 weeks pregnant and you don't have the energy to speak sternly to your developing toddler without losing your breath after a few seconds, you have to innovate. My 16 month old, miss independence, has become rather challenging at times to control and after loads of reading, asking, talking and pondering on discipline I have finally resorted to a kitchen appliance who has done the trick.

Thank you Russell Hobbs stick blender for keeping my daughters fingers out of plug points, away from windows she could potentially fall out, out of the oven and stove no zone area and  most importantly away from glass objects that could potentially cut her. At first she was terrified in a way that made me feel cruel and harsh, now all I have to do is make the "ZZZzzzzz" sound and she happily obeys, redirects her attention and plays along happily. She now brushes her teeth with no fuss, allows me to dress her with no fuss, hell at this rate I'm thinking of even putting in some new earrings while she is awake (she's pulled all kinds out as her pincer skills are quite advanced for her age)

My mother used a wooden spoon, her mother used a pin, my little one will probably end up using some techno advanced appliance with her kids, it works!

My husband thinks I'm cruel, I'd much rather describe myself as a successful disciplinarian.

 
Onto the next one (sigh happily)

Cheeses Christ, stop complaining and keep on keeping on!

Today  is the 7^th June and it’s raining horses and tigers in Cape Town.

So beautiful!!!!!!!!

The only thing that could spoil this day for me is the “woe is me” mentality of some people.

Arrrgghhh, oh no I am travelling via public transport in the rain, oh shame this and oh shame that.

You know what, if you are ill or physically challenged then I sympathize with you but if you are perfectly healthy and have no excuse whatsoever then I have a few words for you.

Get over it and get on with it.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I understand the morale of people has decreased over the past few years since the economic recession hit and the “woe is me” attitude became incredibly common in SOME communities.

I am ONLY targeting those people who have a lot to be thankful for but walk around feeling sorry for themselves because they don’t have the comfort they would like to have in this weather.

There are less fortunate people who wake up every day and try and make a way.

You know what; an attitude change is in order.

We all have our stuff but we carry on every day and try harder.

Let me tell you a story…

Once upon a time, there was a pregnant fairy who took a duvet day from work as her body was feeling a bit run down at 8 months.

After 3 hours of morning rest, she got up to enjoy breakfast, listening to the sound of silence.

The guilt of sending her toddler to her granny and sending her husband off with no lunch quickly subsided as her body slowly entered relaxed mode.

It had been far too long since she’d spent alone time with herself.

Her eyes wondered across the lounge and over to the toys that lay scattered on the ground, she checked the time on the microwave … 11H45.

She smiled pensively to herself ready to just get lost in thought.

Blocking out the OCD voice that was telling her to take advantage of this time to do a deep home cleanse.

Read, maybe I shall read…she thought.

The title of a book called “who moved my cheese?” lay on the kitchen counter and immediately caught her attention.

This is a book that was recommended to her husband by a friend of his.

He finished this book in a half an hour as it was a quick easy read, printed in font 18.

“Who moved my cheese?” by Spencer Johnson is an amazingly simple life lesson told through an easy to read story about how to deal with change in your work and in your life.

READ IT and change your attitude, then change your life J

The end!!!!!!!!!!