Johnny boy....

Ok this is going to be a quick one:

For the women: When chocolate tastes absolutely awesome and caresses your tongue like a warm blanket on a cold night, you KNOW its time to get your period right?

For the good listeners: How awesome is John Mayer's music?

Scratched this old song out from my mega awesome cd holder and its been on repeat ever since: Its just the lyrics, my toolbar didnt have a button that said, 'insert song'

CAUTION: If you're a cynical bastard whose never been in love, this is not for you!

I never liked this apple much
It always seemed too big to touch
I can't remember how I found
My way before she came around

I tell everyone
I smile just because
I've got a city love
I found it in Lydia
And I can't remember life before her name

She keeps a toothbrush at my place
As if I had the extra space
She steals my clothes to wear to work
I know - her hairs are on my shirts

I tell everyone
I smile just because
I've got a city love
I found it in Lydia
And I can't remember life before
The day
She called up and came to me
Covered in rain
And dinnertime shadowing
And as her clothes spun, we spooned
And I knew I was through
When I said "I love you"

Friday evening, we've been drinking
2 AM, I swear that I might propose
but we close the tab
split a cab
and call each other up when we get home
falling asleep to the sound
of sirens

I got a city love
I found it in Lydia

From the battery
To the gallery
It's the kind of thing you only see
In scented, glossy magazines

And I can't remember life before her name

 

To connect or not to connect .... LITERALLY.....with Dora!

I have succeeded for almost 3 years without a tv in my home.

Whenever I tell people I dont have a TV, I always get the same pause and jaw dropping response.

When actually it isnt that absurd if you think about it, considering I’ve got a 2 year old and a 1 year old.

So they keep me very busy and I'm totally hands on.

We have however been toying with the idea of getting a tv as a babysitting tactic for those mornings when we’re not quite ready to get out of bed yet OR for those days when we’re so exhausted and all we want is a bit of down time in the evening.

So we got it! A TV, a television, a visual resource illuminating information and entertainment (Make abracadabra sound!!!!!) GLORIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aside from all the movies which are very popular with the tots like Nemo, Toy story, etc, I must say the most pleasantly surprising,interactive series that I have watched with my 2 year old daughter would have to be DORA the EXPLORER. She is a cute and adventurous latino that teaches you how your world is your oyster. (Note I havent watched tv for almost 3 years so this might be to your knowledge already but not to mine)


SIDE TRACK ANECDOTE:

Once upon a time I bought my tot 'Dora and Boots book of manners'. It was a quite a tough day after a rough night and I was excruciatingly exhausted while reading to her. Bearing in mind my lack of exposure to the TV series due to my lack of a TV, I was totally confused with Dora's nationality when she greeted Boots with an upside down question mark with the word hola next to it ----> ¡Hola!
I pronounced the word 'ee-hole-er' through my fatigue and instantly became the butt of my lovely husband's best joke ever!
NO!!!!!!!!!! she does not typically look spanish in the book so how was I supposed to know!!!!!!!!
 

Back to what matters in life:

Interactive series are educational and fun but ..... (scroll down)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The question gets posed, then my tot stares at the tv screen and then stares at me then I stare back at her and then Dora carries on merrily.
 

Gracias!

 

A philosophical piece of poo!

It’s a lovely day in Cape Town and I’ve just been to the mall during my lunch hour to catch up on some shopping.

 

I decided to buy some lunch and while I was sitting by myself enjoying my mcDo...er....veggie salad, I looked around and what did I see?

Half the people having lunch enjoying, laughing, chatting and giggling bashfully with their MOBILE PHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....and I was one of them (ashamed)

We are definitely living in a world where we interact less with people face to face and more frequently on our phones.

While it sharpens  communication skills, at the same time we tend to miss out on interpreting all those non verbal cues which help us understand language and conversation.

 

Needless to say, it totally eliminates that AWWWKKKWWAAARRRRDDDDD silence you experience every now and again while spending time with people.

I know, that was deep right?

 

The other point I would like to make is the fact that Maslow was indeed a smart guy.

I would however like to tell Maslow he didn’t think it through thoroughly, you see in order to achieve the social stage and even stages following the third, he forgot to stress the critical importance of having fingers!!!!

How smart are you now Massie, huh?

 

Thank you and you’re welcome.

 

Please note: I am not discriminating against anyone without any fingers, this post is not for sensitive viewers and is meant to be a proverbial bunch of poop.

Edited : 15 May 2013....
After reading my post, someone sent me this interesting link which i would like to share with you...

http://fstoppers.com/tao-lins-facedown-generation-of-taipei

Pet peeves and pets!

I haven’t blogged in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time so :

 

CAUTION: this is going to be MEGA random and most incoherent.

 

You know those people that feel the need to place their hands on you while saying something?

Like they will call you and then touch you on your shoulder or something and be like ‘Em, what I wanted to say was....’

And you’d be like : what I wanted to say was....Why are you touching me?

HATE IT!

 

That goes hand in hand with the ‘high five gesture’

You know that awkward moment when you say something that causes the other person to react with a high five gesture and you just stand there straight faced?

 

While your being all --->

 

I’m thinking ---->

 

 

HATE THAT TOO, DONT DO IT!

 

Lastly we have a little fish tank with 2 small goldfish in it.

The tank got dirty, well at least that’s what we thought.

So it needed to be cleaned which meant we needed to remove the filter and give the glass a wipe.

According to ‘fish tank specialists’ o.k. my neighbour, who set up the tank for us.

(Background music), Once upon a time...we got 2 goldfish in a party pack to join our family.

We were unprepared and broke at the time.

Left them in a bowl for days, until we got a small fish tank.

My daughter wants to feed them every day, which is potentially why the tank needed to be cleaned because it seems we were over feeding them causing extra bits of food to float around in the tank.
Anyway I didn’t want this to be a novel but the point of this story is....

 

While cleaning the filter, my idiotic husband says to me the other night, do you think the goldfish know that we’re cleaning the filter?

My response : Of course you fool, in ‘Finding Nemo’ they were well aware of how a filter works.

Pssshhhhh!

In conclusion ---->

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calling all realists and non romantics :)

I’ve been struggling to write this post simply because it’s such a broad topic and I don’t want to come across as one sided.

I’m not speaking on behalf of every woman, I’m just stating an idea of the general consensus from the close group of women in my circle regarding love.

A friend of mine has been in a relationship with someone for 10 years and isn’t the least bit interested in getting married.

She is a strong woman, in her religion, work, socially and has her feet placed firmly on the ground.

Loves her boyfriend but their values, religious beliefs, family culture and ambition are worlds apart.

Their love is unique and special to her and has carried them through a lot but is always a question of whether it’s enough.

So an arrogant, pompous troll (for lack of a better description) comes along, a complete stencil of a good investment promising optimal returns BUT…no love, no attraction, rather annoying mostly but she just can’t seem to get him out of her head. (Sing like Kylie Minogue) They share the same beliefs, and come from similar backgrounds.

All of a sudden she is thinking ahead… can she deal with all the issues in her current relationship, is she strong enough for the challenge IF she decides to marry her boyfriend?

Before anyone thinks this is about love and the vegetarian vampire that sparkles in the sun, please hold your horses.

Typically the opposite of what you’ll find in a romantic story outline….2 birds from 2 different nests, she is a humming bird and he is just a pigeon sitting on telephone cable singing on the wings of love….

Together flying high-eye….NO…the South Easter will be coming and you better be of 747 caliber if you want to survive it!

 

I would just like to say….

 

You STILL have a choice in finding someone who is going to  check majority, if not all, of the tick boxes on the list you want.

You want a man who is career driven, so he can take care of you…..even though you are independent, empowered, professional and strong and VERY capable of taking care of yourself.

You want someone who shares similar religious or cultural values….it might not matter now, but it will very well make things a hell of a lot easier if you plan on having kids.

You want someone who will respect your family and someone who is constantly open to changing and improving.

You want a partner who will support you and who will take a superior role in your times of need.

It’s not about falling deeply in love and expecting that to carry you through until the end of time.

I’m sorry, any experienced woman in a successful marriage will tell you….Love grows and is a mere component of a good partnership.

 

There is nothing wrong in looking for someone who is able to sustain you,  even though you can very well take care of yourself.

Someone who can lead, even though most of his decisions will be driven and managed by you from behind the scenes.

You see what I’m saying here people….

Behind every successful man is a great woman.

Men were created to hunt, they love taking care of women, they pride themselves on providing for their families.

 

 

Women are pushing boundaries, fighting strongly and fiercely against the proverbial traditional mould…which may differ but is essentially similar.

Caregiver, nurturer, supporter, helper, stop whatever you’re doing and attend to me-er.””

We can be career woman, mothers, wives and friends.

All I’m saying is you can have the best of both worlds without turning into an alpha female, which doesn’t even sound right.

Before I upset anyone, I’m not saying it doesn’t work but what I’m saying is I don’t think any young lady dreams of one day finding a man and providing fully for him while he happily loves her with no desire to become a hunter!

It’s just not how we’re wired.

 

I think the point I’m trying to make is this…

 

LOVE will not and simply cannot, conquer all.

Most things….but not all folks…not all!!!!!!!!!

Out with the old and in with the poo!

Let’s start!!!!

So I know someone, I will not mention who (his name is Nathan Herman and he is obsessed with Anime and is an aspiring illustrator/ artist) who gets bored while eating.

I mean have you ever!!!!!!!!!!

It was an immediate need for me to blog about this now that I have fallen into the stereotypical middle aged mommy of 2 who is obsessed with my ever expanding weight.

Please bear in my mind, I have good genes, my parents and their siblings have aged quite well. All of them looking years younger than what they really are.

So for me my new weight has been a HUGE adjustment, a rather LARGE pill to swallow, a PLUS SIZE outlook on life. Excuse the pun! NO DO NOT excuse the pun, the pun is actually how I see myself in the mirror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I have been pregnant for 2 years and 2 C-sections later I STILL seem to look like im in my second trimester.

My mouth simply cannot stop moving from the consumption of food, any food, fried food, healthy food, fresh food!

Dear Lord, please grant me the ability to get bored from eating. Amen.

Why couldn’t I be the person who doesn’t like eating because I would rather be doing other stuff.

WHY must I always be the one to ask the person whose travelled to another country, “…and how is the food there?”

I know this is a phase and it takes hard work and determination , eating properly and exercising but this is my space to just vent to the point where my jean button pops.

And my problem isn’t eating properly, its EATING in general.

Normal party itinerary: meet and greet

Lady Poo’s party itinerary: eat and greet.

So when someone tells me “I don’t really have to eat, Its boring , I would rather be doing other stuff,” I have an intense need to go to the root of the issue, dissect it, marinate it in olive oil and fry it on a hot pan, 30 seconds a side for 2 minutes until medium rare….OH NO SORRY, I digress.

Let’s just say I want to understand it.

Coming back to Nathan.

Nathan is a skinny 24 year old, witty nerd , focused on the stepping stone of his desk job in order to reach his goal of becoming Japanese.

I picture his mom asking him, my boy, what would you like to be when you grow up? Mommy I want to be Japanese.

It seems his appetite for life is far greater than his appetite for food right now, which is fantastic.

We went to get lunch which I gobbled up in 3 minutes and 2 hours later he is still nibbling on his meal, simply because it’s boring to eat.

This might be the most random post ever but I just needed to express my learning’s, which is the following:

ALL WOMAN GET FAT!

Nathan is a man!

Happy 2013!

Im back with 2 under the age of 2!

I have been a virtual hermit for almost 5 months now after the birth of my second child.

Thankfully, Im just about starting to feel like myself again.

Nights are getting longer and things are getting a little bit easier.

Reading my previous posts, I realize a lot of them were less about poo and more about my tot which was my one and only at the time.

I promise to revert back to poo after this post but I just HAVE to share the following:

I love my son. (5 months)

I love my daughter. (22 months)

Being a mom is the most incredibly hard, yet the most rewarding job I have ever had and I promise to try everyday to be the best that I can be.

Now back to poo….

NO I DO NOT WANT TO DONATE BLOOD!

The thought of a needle in my vein kills me inside a thousand times.

I know I should help out where I can but please HELP ME get over needles.

I don’t like it…I don’t!

WHY can’t they put you under general anesthetic when drawing blood.

I mean really now.

The first time I took serious blood tests, I started crying in a melodramatic way.

The nurse looked at me with the most disinterested and annoyed face in the world and said “seriously lady, kids under the age of 9 handle this better than you!”

Nurse….why don’t you stop judging me and pass me a lollipop….PLEASE!

That is all!